KnowYourselfTherapy

Are You Stuck in Self-Doubt? Start Trusting Yourself.

Getting Started When You've Stopped

 

Where I Got Stuck

I used to blog every other week and then I stopped.  And stayed stopped.  For many, many months.  All the while I was longing to start, pestering myself to start, refusing to start.

I know that I’m not alone in this experience.  We all have things that we want to do.   That we, for some reason, can’t get ourselves to do.  It’s extremely frustrating.  Well, now I’m doing it.  Right now.  With this blog.  Just doing it.  That is what needs to be done.  Just do it.

 

Discover What’s Stopping You

But something else came first before I was ready to just do it.  I had a realization.  I was stuck in self-doubt.  I was getting stopped by the thought that I had to do it “right”.  I had to blog about the “right” things.  Use the “right” writing style.  Insert the “right” title, headers, keywords to rank higher in SEO searches…blah, blah, blah.

 

Letting Go of Doing it “Right”

This is a lesson that I’ve had to learn over and over again in my life:  trying to figure out what is “right” can lead you astray, taking you down a dark, winding path away from your own intuition, leaving you lost in the dark.

 

Start Trusting Yourself

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t learn from others by seeking their wisdom and examples.  There is so much that we can learn from others and it’s great to be open to that learning.  But if following in someone else’s footsteps makes you stop taking steps at all…then you’re following the wrong path.  They are not you!   Trying to do it like someone else, when it really doesn’t work for you, can grind you to a halt.

 

Be a Completionist…Not a Perfectionist

I’ve learned and then forgotten and then re-learned again, that it’s better to do something, be active, take risks, finish something…to the best of my ability, even if I know that my ability doesn’t measure up to what I think it should be, then to get stuck doing nothing.  In fact, I coined my own phrase “Be a completionist…not a perfectionist.”  Just get it done!  When I remember that, the wheels begin to turn again and soon I’m chugging down the track.

Know Your Challenges but Don’t Let Them Stop You

I’m not good at this SEO stuff.  I’d rather write from my head and my heart than from some high ranking keywords.  Because of that, I have to face the fact that I might not have the most effective approach…but not blogging for four months is even less effective!  Therefore, I’m allowing myself to do my best while I continue to try to improve.

 

Learn by Doing

When you’re stuck, you may be protecting yourself from doing something wrong, but you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to learn how to do it right, either.  Allow yourself to learn by doing.  If you’re highly critical of yourself, it may be hard to tolerate your mistakes.   But if you put all your energy into avoiding mistakes, you probably don’t have much energy left to try things and take risks.  You can’t win a chess game if you’re only playing defense.  You have to make some moves.

 

Go for It!

So, I wholeheartedly encourage you to let yourself move forward, take action, make mistakes. Remember, any step is a step in the right direction.

 

Learn how psychotherapy can help you, contact Rena Pollak, LMFT for a free 15 minute phone consultationI have a private practice in Encino and Tarzana.

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